Celebrate Spontaneity

It’s that time of year, folks. Baseball playoffs are in full swing, and with every crack of a bat, and every ball flying through the crisp October air, Americana is in full swing.

Baseball is like every other aspect of life. When you accomplish something, you take a moment to step back, and celebrate. Baseball players normally celebrate by dousing their teammates with champagne, or in one case, ginger ale when clinching a division, or a playoff series.

When a baby is born, sometimes the father lights up an ‘It’s a Girl!’ cigar. When the Yankees win a championship, they throw a ticker tape parade. Hockey Players sometimes drink beer out of the Stanley Cup; the Indy 500 winner drinks milk, the Kentucky Derby winning horse is dressed in roses, and paraded to the applause of thousands of onlookers.

Does anybody find some of the celebrations a little bit odd?

I am confused by celebrations in sports. Let me look through these one by one.

  • The Texas Rangers defeated the Tampa Bay Rays this past week. They celebrated by spraying tons of champagne around their locker room. Granted this is probably fun to do, but only works in certain situations. I would imagine that my roommate would be quite upset with me, if after every video game victory, I threw a beer in his face in celebration
  • The Blackhawks threw a ticker tape parade when they won The Stanley Cup. That is pretty cool, with little pieces of paper falling down from the air. What I don’t understand is, what is so special about paper? I am of the understanding that if I wadded up a piece of paper, and threw it at someone, that would be insulting, right? I never understood confetti. I know that it is a celebration, but the idea of scraps of paper falling onto my head, conjures up images of a giant bully littering on me. Maybe it’s just me
  • The Indy 500 winner chugs a huge jug of milk after winning. Milk! I figure that after driving for 4 hours, I would celebrate by getting to the closest bathroom. I can’t even drive to Michigan City without having to use the local facilities. Secondly, milk is not a refreshing drink, in my humble opinion. I would figure that someone would want a nice cold Coke.
  • The flying chest bump is an act done by athletes, where they jump through the air and collide sternum to sternum without bracing themselves. Yes, it does look pretty cool. It is not very practical, however. I would imagine that someone of my particular size would crush any one of my female coworkers, who wanted to celebrate landing a huge business deal.
  • Sammy Sosa’s post homerun hand kissing, peace sign giving, skyward point hand gesture. That is just ridiculous. I don’t get it, it’s almost cartoon like. Kind of like last 16 seconds of THIS video. Horrible. I’m a Cubs fan too.

I guess celebration is a time to cut loose. Winning a championship or a having something great happen to you is reason to celebrate. Have fun, enjoy life, and don’t spray your math teacher with Mountain Dew when you get an A on a shoebox diorama.

Celebrate the weekend folks!