Random Acts of Kindness: Days 57-69

Scatter-KindnessThese Acts of Kindness are in the participants own words and the only purpose of this challenge was to scatter kindness.

Day 57
I have a good friend that her mother is dealing with cancer.

I sent her something that would help her deal with the side effects of chemo and maybe make her day a little brighter.

Day 58
I actually carry cards that say you have just received a random act of kindness please pass this card on.

I often wonder if anyone does.

I guess in my heart I have to believe they do.

Day 59
No activity, no response.

Day 60
This morning I was in the drive thru picking up some coffee……As I waited for my turn to pay, it hit me…..perfect opp to make someone’s morning a little brighter! I paid for the next 2 people in line and asked the cashier to ask them to pay it forward sometime in the future when they are able. Pretty fun to do something nice for an unsuspecting stranger…. Not a bad hobby to take up! :)

Day 61
I baked my co-worker a lasagna because she said her poor children never eat a home cooked meal unless they go to grammas bc she hates to cook. I also parked far away at the grocery store so other people could have closer spots.

Day 62
Her decision to NOT do this RAK, has haunted her. Here is her story.

Normally I like to go to Wal-Mart later in the evening to shop as it is less busy. One evening I went to pick up a few items which actually turned into a cart full because that’s how it goes at Wal-Mart. Very few lines were open. I normally do self check out but this night I had more than normal and didn’t want to hold up the line so I jumped in a regular checkout.

I ended up behind a lady who apparently was having problems with a few canned items. She was dressed casually not overly done up nor dressed like she just rolled out of bed. She was accompanied by a completely adorable 2 yr old boy all clean in his footsie jammies with gym shoes and winter coat. She was well spoken, not loud and the little boy was well behaved.

Usually I get inpatient behind people who hold up the line. I think I have a life too let’s get moving even though I really have no where important to be. I sat for a few minutes behind this lady who seemed to be slightly embarrassed. I felt if I jumped to another line it would make her feel worse in a way. So I waited patiently and acted like it was no big deal. After all I really didn’t have anywhere to be.

As I listened to what was going on, I started to feel sorry for the lady in front of me with her child. The cashier rang up almost all of her items except for a few cans of kidney beans. She was trying to explain that she was looking for the cheapest cans and this was all that was available. This is when I noticed that she was a welfare recipient.

She went on to explain in a very nice well spoken manner that she was following the state rules by picking the cheapest items. Apparently she did well, I saw the items on the belt and they all rang up fine except for these three cans of cheapest kidney beans that they had left on the shelf. Most of us buy the expensive brands so at least these were one step up from great value. They were not magic beans or even beans made of gold. Just regular old beans that she obviously planned on using for a meal. The weather outside is horrible, she has this small child, it’s dark, she doesn’t want to go to another store (I’m assuming) and maybe she can’t make it tomorrow. No one knows because she’s not complaining she’s simply stating that she picked the cheapest beans available.

The cashier obviously abiding by the rules will not let her have the beans, calls the manager over, the manager will not let her have the beans either.

By this time I jumped to the line next over as I found it ridiculous that they couldn’t find some way to just let her buy the 3 cans of kidney beans. I was getting increasingly irritated as we all know Wal-Mart is very bad at keep things in stock. They sent someone back to verify these were the cheapest beans and they were…yes she’s not a liar and if she was don’t you think she would go for the most expensive bean?

Still they refused to give this lady the three cans of beans. I felt angry that even though they were following the rules this giant multi billion dollar corporation could some how not figure a way to give them to her. Who knew beans could cause so much anger in me!

I thought about it for a moment….should I offer help?

How would it make her feel?

Embarrassed?

Happy?

Sad?

She didn’t get her beans and I felt horrible. I also felt horrible for thinking a random act of kindness might embarrass her more. In fact she probably would not have felt that but just relieved to have those three cans of beans she needed.

That situation has stuck with me and bothers me.

When I received the message about participating in this challenge, this instantly popped in my head. There are many ways to be kind to others and you shouldn’t sit and ponder the outcome, just jump and do it!

You can make a new friend, put a smile on someone’s face, make their day or even their dinner with a few cans of beans!

~~~

I know I’ve been a recipient of a few random acts of kindness and it does change the way the rest of your day plays out or just makes a great day even better!

Now I actually did act on a random act of kindness that is simple and slightly boring but satisfying.

Coming from a family that has and had military members I’m very supportive of vets and the men and women that are still active. I’ve always donated money and said thank you for your service to our country. I however always wanted but again never acted on seeing a uniformed officer out eating and paying for their lunch or dinner.

Walking into Starbucks one day I turn and see a man in uniform approaching as well. I say to myself here’s that chance, I order my coffee and go to pay I say I will cover his bill as well. He has a stunned look on his face and for a moment I think uh oh this is going to be a very large order(laughing).

He orders a simple coffee he says thank you so much. I say it’s the least I can do thank you very much for your service. We talked for a few minutes as he was saying what he does in the military. He says thank you again so very much and I thank him again as well.

As we exit the building he says excuse ma’am I would like to give this to you and hands me a post card. I look down at it laugh and say awww thanks. He said I didn’t want to ruin that moment of someone doing something nice for someone so I kept it in my pocket…….turns out it was a card for a free coffee! Two random acts of kindness!

Day 63
I witnessed a Random Act of Kindness unfold before my eyes.

It was the saddest thing. A senior citizen was trying to get her prescription filled and was told her coverage had expired dec 1st.

I almost cried. She walked away without getting her prescription. I saw a person pay for it and hunted her down in the store and she left with it. It was great to watch her expression when she found out that someone paid for it.

Day 64
I did my act of kindness back on December 18th, but am just now getting my email out. I liked the idea when you asked me, and then sat down to think. Part of what I liked about this is it gave me time to self-reflect, and in trying to think up something kind, I realized that while I may not consider it often or had not previously realized it, I do a lot of small kindnesses already. Which is very much inline with my values and how I want to live my life.

Before though, I’d always thought of it as something other people did better, and this got me to realize, wait a minute, there is always room for more, but I DO do a lot of kind things myself too.

Anyway, I decided if it is something I do already, like hold open a door or pay extra when I pay my library fine and tell them to use the extra for someone else’s fine, then it wouldn’t count. I wanted to try something new and challenge myself a bit.

It took a few days, and then I realized, that there was something kind I ALREADY wanted to do but had not done for numerous reasons. I have seen a woman around town for the past year or two who is homeless. And every time I see her, I worry about her and wonder if there is something I can do, if she is warm enough or needs anything to eat, if she is ok.

Recently I noticed the wheels on her cart had become very warn. She had patched them with duct tape, but it was clear that was not going to be a permanent solution. And it struck me how hard it must be to push that cart everywhere she goes, let alone with such run down wheels on it. So I had been thinking for a bit about offering to fix them for her. It wasn’t much, but would hopefully be a small thing that would make daily life a bit better.

I kept my eyes out around town for her in her usual spots, and finally ran into her in the grocery store. I was busy, getting my own groceries, and sort of scared, but I hadn’t seen her around for a bit, and didn’t want to miss her, and so before I reached the car, decided to turn back and go see her for a bit. I am glad I did.

The first thing I noticed was she had a new cart! No more duct tape wheels. So we struck up a conversation for a bit. Which was nice all on it’s own because when I see her around town, I WANT to talk to her and ask if she needs anything etc, but never do. I’m always too afraid, that she’ll tell me to get lost, or that her needs are far greater than anything I have to offer etc. And then I feel bad when I don’t just talk to her, because I see her everywhere.

So we talked. She says she doesn’t need anything really, except a home, and those are obviously hard to come by. She has warm clothes, hats, and mittens etc. When it gets too cold at night, she sneaks into her storage unit, and sleeps there. The police look after her, she said one night when the temperature dropped, they took her in and let her spend the night in the lobby of the station. And one of them bought her a pair of furry boots she says are very warm.

She just started a small job at the grocery store organizing their magazines for them. She is discouraged by the lack of adequate shelter space. She is very polite and super easy to talk to. I’m glad I know a bit more about her, and can now say hello whenever I see her around.

She insisted she didn’t need anything, when I asked and said I worried about her out there in the cold. So I offered her a loaf of my pumpkin bread. I just made two, and froze both. She insisted I should just freeze them, I told her I had, but Ididn’t have that much freezer space! (This is true). She said in that case, she would like some, but really I shouldn’t have. So we agreed to meet up later at the library.

In the mean time I went home and made myself dinner. Somehow, the recipe made 1.5X what it normally does. And so I boxed up some dinner for her as well, as I have no idea how long it may have been since she had a home cooked meal, and delivered it and the bread at our appointed time and place. She said thank you, and that I shouldn’t have, and seemed busy, so we parted ways.

I can’t help but feel though, that, in a way, I was imposing my good will upon her, and perhaps I shouldn’t have. I’m not sure. She was quite polite, but adamant she didn’t really need anything, I had a feeling she only said she wouldn’t mind some bread because I wanted to do something to help. I suppose we will see.

I am very glad I took the time to talk to her, and learn her name and introduce myself and learn a bit about her life though. I see her around quite often and often then worry about her and if she is ok and warm enough etc. In addition to it just seeming to be polite to say hi sometimes. Now I can, because we know each others names. :)

And I learned to be less afraid I think. Her needs ARE far greater than anything I could provide. But she’s also a person just like me, and just because I can’t fix everything, doesn’t mean some small kindness, or even maybe a friendship, wouldn’t go a long way either.

That’s about it, I’ve seen her a few times since, she mentioned once the food was very good, so I think she DID appreciate it.

Day 65
No Response, No Activity

Day 66
Today we were the recipient of a RAK. A friend visited our office unexpectedly and dropped off a full bag of pop tops that she and her family had been saving for our Ronald McDonald pop top drive.

Day 67
I am delivering Christmas for one of my students tomorrow. My mom’s office collected items for them. I am super excited to see the mom’s face when we carry in all the goodies. They are currently homeless. Sad situation but a great kid.

Day 68
I shoveled the driveway for my husband so he didn’t have to cancel his dinner plans with friends,

I brought my friends their winter coats to the LaPorte Hospital when her fiance was admitted and neither of them had a coat.

I also made homemade Kahlua and Irish Cream for my entire staff for Christmas as a thank you.

Day 69
I forgot to tell you my random act of kindness which ended up being neither one of the things on my list so it was really random.

My grandson gets supervised visits only with his father. The lady that does it is really sweet. She makes $40 for 2 hours but it costs her about $10 in gas to come up here from San Diego. Last Saturday I had to take Jordan to visitation because his mom was working. When I dropped him off the supervisor told me that she may have to stop doing it and replace Jordan’s spot with somebody closer to her home because of the gas.

She loves Jordan to death but financially it was hurting her. It was a selfish act of kindness for me to go get her a gas card but it was random.

Now we get to keep her and I’m going to take her a gas card every few visits.

Catch up with Random Acts of Kindness Day 1, Days 2-12, Days 13-19, Days 20-27, Days 28-32, Days 33-35, Days 36-48, and Days 49-56!