Many people think of death as permanent – the end of who a person was. This couldn’t be further from the truth. While we may not be able to bring our loved ones back, we can find ways to keep their memories alive and allow them to continue to express themselves even after they are gone. Headstones are the perfect way to do this.
Traditionally, most headstones today are made out of granite because the material can withstand weather and erosion better than others such as wood and marble. That’s where standardization comes to an end, though. Headstones are completely customizable; they can come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. They can be flashy or simple. They can be made from different types of granite and can even have special things that were important to the deceased engraved in them.
The customizability of headstones is what makes them so meaningful. They honor a person by capturing exactly who they were and what was important to them.
“I enjoy walking through the cemetery and just looking at the different stones. It makes you think about the people who have passed. You’ll walk past a stone and go, ‘Oh, that person was a veteran. I wonder what they had to go through.’ Then you’ll walk past another stone and go, ‘That person has an engraving of woodworking tools on the back of their stone. I wish I knew what they made.’ Headstones are an interesting way to tell people about a person who's no longer here,” said Kyle Newhard, office manager at Bartholomew Funeral Home.
For many people, being able to choose a unique headstone for themself or their loved ones can have a huge impact on their well-being. For a person who’s passed, a headstone can bring them comfort before they die knowing they won’t be forgotten and that there will be something for people to remember them by. For a loved one, a headstone can help them in the grieving process because they’ll have a lasting reminder of the person they loved and can remember that they won’t ever be truly gone.
“Many people have a fear of being forgotten or that their loved ones are going to be forgotten. Having something to mark who that person was is a lasting testament that that person was here and that they were an important part of somebody's life,” said Newhard.
When choosing a headstone design for yourself or a loved one, there is no right or wrong. It’s all about designing a headstone that captures who the person was so they can be honored long after they’re gone. If a person was exuberant, get them a flashy headstone. If a person was a bit on the quiet side, pick something simpler.
“You just have to ask yourself what will represent this person? What was it that made this person who they were? What’s something that is going to help draw out those good memories you have of that person so when you're out at the cemetery visiting you’ll remember how much you loved having them in your life? It's about creating a memory,” said Newhard.
For veterans, choosing a headstone may be as simple as asking for a free bronze plaque that has their name, date of birth, date of death, and service branch. These plaques are available to all veterans and their spouses – the family just needs to make sure they have the veteran’s discharge paperwork. If a veteran is buried in a national cemetery such as Arlington National Cemetery, a headstone is provided. Most veterans receive a cross, but Jewish veterans can get the Star of David.
Ultimately, headstones are incredibly powerful objects. Not only do they honor a person by helping keep their memory alive and allowing them to tell their story long after they’re gone, they also help loved ones remember exactly what made that person so special. At the end of the day, designing a headstone is a very personal and meaningful experience.
“A headstone doesn’t have to be super fancy to be meaningful – it can even be super simple. It's all about just creating a headstone that is a testament to who that person was,” said Newhard.
The Bartholomew Funeral Home team encourages everyone who would like to learn more about headstones to come out and talk to them; they always strive to help in any way they can.
“We work closely with the monument company here in town, so we tell people all the time, If you have a question or you want to sit and get something down on paper and planned out, come in and talk to us. We’re more than happy to help you get something started or figured out,” said Newhard.
To learn more about Bartholomew Funeral Home, visit bartholomewnewhard.com.
